She said that she is now a female s, because she found that men are all dogs, no one is worthy of her love, and they all only deserve to be beaten and abused by her, and asked me if I could teach her two tricks.
In June 2018, I saw a message from a girl in a QQ group in the circle, she was anxiously asking where to buy emergency contraception and whether minors can buy it?
A moment of curiosity drove me to click on her profile, and found that we were friends with each other, and I looked through the chat history, only to remember that she added me two years ago, when she was only 14 years old, interested in the small circle, and called my sister when she came up, and asked me if I could be the master.
Because she was too young, I didn’t follow up after a few words of persuasion, but I didn’t expect to see her asking for help in a large circle two years later.
After I answered her out of kindness, I asked her why she wanted to buy birth control pills?
She didn’t reply to me, and I didn’t take it to heart until the next morning, when I found out that she replied to me at 3:30 a.m., “I was slept with by an s. “
My gut told me she wasn’t good, so I asked her, “Did you do it voluntarily? “
Another whole day of silence, no reply.
At 10 p.m., I got a message from her, and she said, “Sister, I’m by a river right now, and I want to jump. “
My heart suddenly tightened, what’s going on? Why do you want to end your life all of a sudden?
I quickly dialed a voice call, and the sound of whistling wind came from the receiver. I could feel that she was a kite in the wind now, and as soon as I let go, she would go away with the wind.
I asked a few words in quick succession where you were, and then the intermittent voice came, as thin as a mosquito and a fly, almost inaudible, and she said that she didn’t seem to be voluntary, but she didn’t make it clear at the time that she didn’t want to, she didn’t know if she wanted to, she might be willing, she really wanted to die.
I quickly told her that this was a stress reaction after being sexually assaulted, and that she should not doubt herself, because she could not accept that she was a “raped person”, and her brain would begin to try to find all kinds of clues to convince herself, telling herself that “I actually did it voluntarily, I was not raped.”
I also told her that when she’s not sure if she’s willing, she’s actually not.
Now the priority is not to die, but to fix the evidence, and then let the parents call the police and bring the bad guys to justice!
She’s just mechanical, um, um, I don’t know if she’s listening, almost 2 hours after the conversation, the hand holding the phone almost couldn’t hold it because of sweating several times, but I didn’t dare to change hands, I was afraid that even if I was a little distracted, she would jump off.
Finally, after making sure she had taken a taxi and headed home, I hung up the phone with a sense of relief.
I didn’t want to worry about this anymore, so I threw away my phone and fell asleep, pretending I didn’t see the message. In a daze, I felt my body falling, and I was in a fiery hell, and a voice sounded like a judgment: turning a blind eye is also an accomplice.
Instantly woke up from a light sleep, I opened the chat interface with her, only to find that the top showed “the other party is typing”, and waited for a while, but nothing waited.
Maybe she typed a lot of words and then silently deleted them. This reminds me of the experience of being sexually harassed when I was younger, and that disgusting feeling that a friend didn’t want to tell me, so I could only write frantically in an anonymous tree hole.
At the moment, as a stranger, I am her tree hole.
Wrong! Tree holes never give me advice and help, so I don’t want to make tree holes! I’m going to save her!
With that in mind, I made an appointment with her, took a leave of absence, and set off early the next morning.
I met her at a Shaxian snack near the station, she didn’t go to school, and we each ordered a bowl of wonton stew.
I asked her how she was in her mental state. She said she had recovered a lot after a good night’s sleep.
But when she picked up the bowl and drank the soup, she would make a small “rustling” sound, and only after careful discerning could she hear that it was the sound of her teeth shaking and constantly touching the edge of the bowl. It’s like a person who freezes in the snow, even if he warms his body, his teeth still chatter when he speaks.
She told me what had happened.
It turned out that a male S hooked up with her, saying that he knew an idol she liked very much, and sent her a group photo, chat history, etc., and said that the idol was actually very flowery, if she passed the training of the male S and became a qualified M, the male S would introduce the idol to her and let them play together.
So she went to the appointment alone, until something bad happened.
As soon as I heard that, I jumped up, and wow! This is an inappropriate seduction! Walk! Gather evidence to go.
I asked her if she still had a condom. She shook her head.
I asked her if you opened a house, did you register your ID card? She shook her head.
I asked her if she still had the chat history. She said that she deleted a part.,The guy has been begging her to delete the record for the past few days.,She’s soft-hearted.。。。
I immediately snatched her phone, made a copy of the rest of the chat, and took her to the hotel that night, asking if there was any surveillance of the entry and exit together.
The hotel said that it could not provide monitoring unless we went to the police first, and the police came to monitor them.
I pulled her to the side of the road and asked her, should I accompany you to tell your parents and ask them to accompany you to the police, or should I go directly with you?
She said, “It’s all right, listen to you.”
At that time, I was like a rampaging bison, bent on punishing the abuser, ignoring everything else, and dragged her into the nearest police station.
The police officer on duty said to me with an embarrassed face, she has to report the case herself, you can’t report the case for her, and you need to notify the guardian to be present first.
Only then did I realize that she had been bowing her head and not speaking, and the most anxious person had become me.
After entering the police station, she seemed to be even more sad, more hesitant, hesitant, and ambiguous; She was like a child who had made a mistake, although it was not she who was at fault.
I agreed with the police and asked her guardian to be there, and her mother quickly came over, a very thin aunt.
As soon as she appeared, she counted her daughter down, then pulled her out of the police station, and said to the police, don’t call the police first, don’t file a case first, let’s go back and find out the situation.
Her daughter followed her indifferently, and I had to follow her out in a huff.
On the side of the road, her mother was counting her down in a shrill whisper, “You can’t report the rape!” In our small place, whose aunt and aunt work in the police station after three or two turns, I know that you have this kind of reputation! You’re going to be a bad girl! Do you know what will affect you for the rest of your life? Listen to me first! Let’s go back and figure out something else. “
I immediately went to interrupt my aunt and told her that you can’t instill the guilt of the victim anymore, you shouldn’t scold her, it’s not her who is wrong, and you need to call the police when it’s time to call the police.
His mother let go of her daughter’s hand, walked up to me, brushed her messy hair, like a fugitive who had just risen from the tide of life, and said to me tired and calm, “Little girl, we are very grateful to you for coming all the way to help my daughter. Her dad and I will treat you to dinner in the evening. Don’t shirk it, we must thank you, but your big city is different from our small city, you listen to me and tell you slowly. “
At the dinner table, the aunt sighed and said that they had a relative before, because she was raped when she was a child, everyone looked down on her, and now the object is not easy to find, the matchmaker said that she can only say that there are some disabled people with missing arms and legs, and poor intelligence, and she doesn’t want her daughter to become like that.
Then, she turned her head again, like blowing out a candle, and said softly to her daughter, “The key to this matter lies with yourself, first, don’t fool around with people who don’t mess around, and second, forget about it, there is no need to get along with yourself. “
Her father chimed in. It is best to say that the evidence is not enough, it is useless to prosecute, and no one will mention it in the future, and it is best to treat it as if it never happened.
Objectively speaking, there was an indescribable sadness that swept over me at that time, and I felt that I had made a lot of trip.
I’m also a woman, and I want to help an underage girl out of instinctive compassion and kindness, but it’s true that as her parents say, to influence her fate and make it possible for her to become a local “bad girl”, am I crossing the line?
I tried my best to persuade her to call the police, but the evidence was limited, and if I didn’t win by then, but let her deeds be known to everyone, did I do the right thing?
After dinner, I got on the train home alone, silent all the way.
No, no! Wrong!
The situation of women is already very difficult, and if they continue to blindly back down, it will only make the aggressors more rampant and put more women in danger.
So I angrily sorted out the chat history backed up from her phone and posted it to all the groups I was in to let everyone avoid lightning, I think this is the last thing I can do.
Then I decided to put away my overflowing compassion, stop interfering in the fate of others, go to work hard, and work hard.
But sometimes the world is so big, so big that many people in life have only one side of the relationship, and sometimes the world is so small, so small that the more you want to forget something, the more you will encounter something.
About four months later, her mother called me out of the blue and asked me very guiltily if I could see her daughter again.
I asked my aunt what happened?
My aunt said that her daughter committed suicide by cutting her wrists two months ago, but fortunately she found it in time and rescued her, but now she doesn’t go to school all day and plays blindly outside, and she thinks that maybe only I can persuade her.
I remember my anxious throat shouting two floors of sensor lights, “She needs to see a psychiatrist!” Psychological counseling! Why do you think I can beat a psychiatrist? “
Her mother burst into tears on the phone, saying that the child went to the psychiatric department to see a doctor, so what should the teacher and classmates think? Our small place spreads very quickly, she is not mentally ill, she just needs personal enlightenment.
I’m really convinced, I want to enlighten it, it’s also your parents’ responsibility, what’s my business? I am reminded of the words of the Japanese writer Kotaro Isaka: “The thought of being a parent without having to go through an exam is terrifying.”
Eventually, I went, and in a very old mall, I still remember the meeting.
I haven’t seen her for a few months, but she’s grown a lot taller, and she brought me small cookies that she made herself.
I said I happened to pass by you, and I remembered you, how are you doing?
She said very much, I found two men in Shanghai last week, and I feel that Shanghai men are tired of pretending to play, and I will go to Hangzhou next week.
I said, I don’t think you’re getting better, I feel like you’re dating so often, it’s still the stress defense mechanism caused by that creation.
She avoided talking about it, changed the subject, and asked me, “Did my mother ask you to persuade me to go to school?”
She pretended to be experienced like an adult, “Don’t worry, I know in my heart that I will be able to finish this semester in about a month, and I will go back to class when the time comes.”
I grabbed her wrist, two raised scabs across my fingertips, “I heard you killed yourself by cutting your wrists?” What’s not to think of? Tell my sister about it.
She turned around, tilted her head, and curled her hair with her other hand, while saying, “Because of the lightning protection post you posted, someone recognized me, and I scratched myself without thinking about it for a while.”
In an instant, I went from the soles of my feet to the top of my head, like ten thousand daggers piercing my heart.
She continued, “But I don’t blame my sister, because I know that you are for my good, for the good of more people, and I have learned wisely, and I have not let the person who threatened me succeed, but I am too tired to live that kind of frightened life, so I decided to die.”
I was stunned and didn’t know what to say, I once felt that I was standing on the high ground of kindness, that I was a savior, but it seemed that unconsciously, I also contributed to pushing her into the abyss.
I said that I apologized to her for my recklessness, that I had not thought it through.
At this time, her mother also came, and she quickly greeted her, telling her mother that I was very good and helpful, and that she would go back to school next week when she came back from playing.
So her mother smiled happily and insisted on inviting me to dinner.
The little girl left first, and her mother and I each ordered fried rice at a fast-food restaurant.
Her mother said that she and her father were not by her side since she was a child, and they gave her little attention.
Between her words, she could hear her guilt for her child. She said that if she had educated earlier, her children would not have become what they are now, and now her daughter is rebellious, and it will be too late for anything.
Still talking about children’s problems.
I don’t understand why the perpetrator is at large, but the victim is repeatedly hurt, and even her own parents are looking for her problems.
I asked her mom how it was resolved. If you don’t call the police, you can’t talk about compensation.
Her mother leaned over to me in a very low voice, as if the fast-food restaurant was full of eyeliner, “Her father went to the man alone, beat him, and then negotiated that he would never contact my daughter again.”
My eyes widened and I asked, “That’s it?”
Auntie nodded helplessly, “That’s it.”
My aunt didn’t look at me when she spoke, she kept her head down, and I couldn’t read what was going on in her heart.
I also lowered my head and ate silently, not because I felt that the perpetrator should not be beaten, but because I felt that they might think that beating the abuser would be regarded as avenging their daughter, but her daughter’s feelings were always ignored, and her daughter’s psychological trauma would not be healed because the abuser was beaten.
I’m wondering, didn’t my aunt ever be harassed when she was young? Did her parents teach her the same way?
What about her daughter’s future child? Do you want to be educated again like this?
Generation after generation,
Life is like a spinning top,
Cycle.
The reason why I want to write about this is because I met her daughter again two days ago, and she came to stay at my house, apparently having another unhappy encounter.
She said that she was expelled from college because a girl bullied her, she couldn’t help but give the other party two punches, broke the other party’s nose, and was also punished before, so she was persuaded to quit, and now she is wandering aimlessly, so she wants to come and see me.
I asked her why she didn’t tell the school or simply called the police if she was being bullied. Why did you endure until the time of the big outbreak?
She said, is it useful to call the police? My dad said, “If someone bullies you, you call back.”
She was silent for a long time, and so did I.
Perhaps we all remember the afternoon when she was about to call the police but was dragged out of the police station by her mother, and her father made an appointment with the abuser and lynched him.
Maybe at that time, what she learned from her parents was forbearance, silence, and then rage.
I saw a sentence that said that every child is born a blank sheet of paper, and if you are violent to him, what he leaves in his heart is the seed of violence.
If you tolerate him, he will be kind to the world. His appearance is a mirror you leave in the world.
When parents talk and do things, they are planting a seed, no matter how insignificant, will sprout and grow in the child’s body.
She said that she is now a female s, because she found that men are all dogs, no one is worthy of her love, and they all only deserve to be beaten and abused by her, and asked me if I could teach her two tricks.
Her eyes were sharp when she spoke, as if there was some deep hatred buried in her heart, and when I looked at her eyes, I knew that a tree planted by her parents that had covered the sky and the sun had grown in her body.