It’s winter vacation, and before going home, I secretly went to Brother Xin’s shallow play for two days, and recorded some funny jokes. (It doesn’t seem very funny now)
cohabit
I don’t know how we talked about living together after graduation.
Me: “I want that kind of bed, where there’s a bed on top and a cage below, and the puppy wants to sleep in a cage!” ”
Brother Xin: “Huh? Then you want to go to the toilet in the middle of the night, and you have to wake me up to open the cage door for you? Isn’t it troublesome? ”
Me: (baring teeth)
Me: “It’s very troublesome, isn’t it, then you sleep in the cage and I sleep in the bed, I’m not afraid to get up in the middle of the night and open the door for you.” ”
jealous
After eating and walking down the street with him, a woman ran past us with a Samoyed.
Brother Xin: “Damn, this dog is snow-white!” I want to get one too! ”
Me: “Am I not in vain??? ”
Brother Xin: “Huh? You even eat dog vinegar? ”
Me: “I’m a dog too, isn’t it normal to eat dog vinegar?” Be careful I pee on you and mark you!! ”
(Brother Xin, temporarily make him my master, there is no guarantee that it will not change.) I, a dog of a breed to be determined, tentatively named Samoyed, after all, Brother Shin likes it, but there is no guarantee that it will not change. Hum. ）
Shaving
Later, I passed by a pet store, where several Pomeranians were trimming.
Me: “Hey, other dogs have their owners shaved their hair.” ”
Brother Xin: “!!??? , boss, buy a set of shaving tools. ”
Boss: “Do you have a small or medium dog?” ”
Brother Shin: (looks at me)
Me: (pinching him 🤏 secretly,, don’t look at me, it’s embarrassing)
Brother Xin: “Large dogs, fierce large dogs.” ”
Biting!
It’s a bit boring when we drink milk tea together.
Me: “Other dogs have collars, and they will be led by their owners when they go out!” ”
Brother Xin: “Holding it because you’re afraid that they will bite, do you bite?” ”
Me: (Why are you looking down on me?) ）
Me: (Finding the right time and snorting at Brother Xin’s hand)
As a result, Brother Xin was intolerant, a mouthful of old milk tea sprayed on my head, and when I went back to wash my hair, I also washed out some bitten pearls.
Brother Xin: “Friend, you call yourself asking for hardship!” ”
Me (impotent rage): “Ahh I’ll bite later! Bite you to death! ”
punish
Because he bit Brother Xin, he was punished.
Brother Xin: “If you bite a puppy, you have to hang a sign on you that says, ‘I’m a bad puppy’, and then go to the park for everyone to watch.” ”
Me: “Huh? Sounds good, it’s a shame play! ”
Brother Xin: “??? ”
Me: “Then I have to tie a tortoiseshell bind and stuff another …… inside my clothes.”
Brother Xin: “???? ”
Me: “Why are you stunned?” Hurry up and do it! ”
Brother Xin: “Forget it, if you don’t feel ashamed, I’m ashamed.” ”
Me: “Words don’t count, bite you to death!” ”
confused
Talk about the confusion about the future.
Brother Xin: “I don’t know if I can have a salary of 6,000 yuan after graduation.” ”
Me: “It’s okay, I’ll try to support you!” ”、
Brother Xin: “? Isn’t it true that I’m getting a dog? ”
I (snickering): “Hey, what can a dog do about a waste owner who doesn’t know how to hunt and bring back food?” I can only work hard to earn money to support my family! ”
Brother Xin: “It’s equivalent to saying that the dog is raising me.” ”
Me: “That’s right, son dog, call Daddy.” ”
(After the fierce battle, I was defeated, I can only say that Brother Xin has brute force and does not talk about martial virtues, and I can expect to surrender for the time being.) Hum. ）
Bet
He Xin Ge was playing a game of catching the ball, that is, he threw a small ball, and I picked it up and returned it to him. Maybe I’m tired of playing, or maybe I’m going to separate, and I suddenly emo anyway.
Me: “It’s so difficult to do high numbers, if only it were as simple as catching the ball, but obviously I’m just looking down to pick up a ball, and then looking up is already listening to heaven.” ”
Brother Xin: “It’s not easy to pick up the ball. For example, the trajectory of my ball just now is just a simple parabola, and I can also add a rotational force to it to make its trajectory become an upspin curve or ……”
Me: “Ahh ”
Brother Xin: “Oh, it’s time, it’s time to take you to the station.” ”
Me: “Will you miss me?” ”
Brother Xin (rolled up his sleeves): “Look, the place where you bit is already green, what does it mean, it means that my body tells me that I should kiss at this moment.” ”
Yes! Help me! What a rotten homophonic stalk! It’s rotten, it’s rotten, it’s rotten, it’s rotten!
But on the way to the station, I can’t help but recall that kiss.
The moment my lips met, I think I fell in love with this boring world for a short time.